Cyanide and the Occasional Noose

So here I am starting yet ANOTHER blog just when the blog fever's died down and everybody who used to think it was so cool, now think it's just something geeks and losers do (sorry guys if I lumped you in just one category... convenience plus I couldn't be bothered, really). From thinking that it was a too-cool way where you could prove you could write a more-than-two-cents-worth jumble of letters and words to simply going: "Huh?!" ...Jeezus. What a lovely world we live in. I gotta remember to send a postcard to these guys one of these days. That or a letter-bomb (sweet memories-- back then, Al-Qaeda wasn't so popular and we only had the Unabomber to worry about. Ho well. We're always on the lookout for the next big thing, eh?).

So, moving on, I think I was prattling about what pains I took in trying to set up another blog (if I didn't then I'm telling you now-- ) but I'm actually looking forward to seeing this one up (which would then explain the pains-- in retrospect I would probably gleefully gloat over a friend of mine that he may be able to write 2 cents but I'm worth a whole dollar... ahhh, don't you just love destroying other people's self-esteem? It makes my piddly one look so much bigger). Had another but it's just one to keep my pseudo-weighty thoughts in it (but that's another thing to talk about altogether... I've digressed too much already *got a clue finally*).

Where was I? Oh yeah, I was about to launch into my "theme" (if this puzzles you, please refer to the title above). I'm not really partial to cyanide (for fishing I prefer dynamite... all those pretty pretty yet useless fish parts floating around-- I'll bet THEY didn't know what hit them) BUT the noose does have its charm (very "old school"). Suicide is always a fantastic way to a quick NOTICE-ME sign over your head. Of course, if you ARE successful, it'd be your last but, hey, you'll always be fondly remembered (so for those planning a quick get-away into Mother Earth, lead a do-goody, non-supposing life so people won't feel too put-out in trying to remember you nicely). But if you fail, take heed. For each attempt lessens the novelty it inspires so please use this platform sparingly. A dash every mid-life crisis or so I think would be enough to spice anyone's personal history. By this I'm assuming you live with real AND sentient individuals and not in the company of volleyballs but AGAIN that's another story. Besides, suicide always looks cute on paper... It's the resulting remains that's always questionable. So if in doubt, practice on someone else. Remember, cyanide is "pretty" untraceable. But if you're really planning on not getting caught, I have a few poisons I could recommend. I like the drama (what with all the retching and face-twisting) better than a peaceful demise. So please-- remember to invite me along.

I always did love a good show.